Having to be asked something which you are hiding and forgetting and ignoring about sucks.
Keep reminding of things that I want to ignore.
Why are you asking me such questions? I'm afraid of falling for him. I don't want to.
Well, I'm still gonna say the same thing.
Since this is the case, so be it. There's nothing I can do.
Yea, I care. But I shouldn't. I'm finding troubles myself.
I nearly cried for idk what reasons just now during sports day.
I needa get a grip.
"if only i knew how you reacted, if only i knew how you felt."
knowing those things would be impossible.. i know, but I'm curious.
i guess there are some things which can't be changed already, and that time won't be able rewind and let me undo what i did. i've regretted and dragged you into this stupid shit. i apologise.
the beginning of everything was kinda so nice, but at the end... well, i guess things changed. and it never became the same.
i'm going to get over everything and forget everything and move on in life. that is just some nice memories. awesome.
i feel 'honoured', but i doubt you feel the same.
we never talked after that.
well, probably because i avoided. i guess, it's just me again.
things and things i did. and it only made me feel regretful. gahh, i guess it's just how life should be. and that it was probably my mistake to know you.
I guess that's the life I'm living now. I'm tired.
I'm never able to make all happy.
I turning into a selfish person. Someone who starts to ignore the feelings of others. There isn't anything of myself that I understand.
I, myself, don't even know what I'm thinking.
There are many things that I want to say, but I don't dare to.
It's either that, I'm tired to. I don't want anybody's ears to bleed.
I'm really changing.
What if... What weiting says are true. I don't want.
It's... just so wrong.
I tired of my change and I want it to stop.
I can't stand it. I hate myself for those change.
No one recognises me, I can't too.
It's not only because life isn't going the way I want, that's why I'm saying this.
I feel that I've let many down. And I've regretted many things I've done or said. I wish I could take those words back.
I think he misunderstands me, and I think he thinks that I misunderstood him.
Look at how crazy things are happening.
I'm tired of all this shit.
I can't make myself accept it.
i hope it was true, but to think about it..
LUCKILY, It isnt true. Haha (:
It's dying down already. (: GOOD.
Hmmm, i hope he doesnt think the wrong way.
We never talk bad about you, heheh. Just some gosspis. (:
It' amazing how I can hide everything. As in like.. I'm serious.
I just shrugged it off. (:
Awesome.
I wonder if it's you.
I hope it isn't.
I manage to ignore. Glad, elated. Whatever, but somehow. I still feel very dead.
Talking without words processing through my brain. Somehow or rather, it sucks. Yet I find it nice. At least I wouldn't care about what or how others see me. They can say that I'm a flirt for all I care. They can say that I suck, who cares la. Lol.
Stop acting like you care when you actually don't.
It sucks when you do that. Cause it's a lie.
But thank god I don't feel anything now.
I manage to gather all my emotions today and put them all right to the back of my head. Studying with a super clear head.
I manage to ignore all the rumours, did I?
I manage to stop thinking so much, did I?
I was kind of calm, yet kind of afraid.
Oh wells,
I think I'm the goddess of hiding. (:
No one know, not even me, how I feel at different times of the day. Seriously, I've got severe moodswing. LOL. This is bad. Feels like I've got split personality. (: SCARY LA. lol.
Hmmm, i go off first. (: MUAHAHA.
Talk soon OB people. I miss you all!! D:
I'm hiding everything already. Not allowing any part of the secret to leak out.
Sherrill says that I'm hiding it by lol-ing and haha-ing. i agree.
because right now, I can't take my mind off it. It's haunting me.
I never thought of it.
Right now, it feels like I'm the yoyo again.
I'm easily fooled right. LOL
Well, should just say that I'm used to it already.
Reading felicia's blog made me realise. There are things which are over and that we need to let go. We can't on tight to it forever. yea, maybe can. But, it's hard with everything that's happening.
I'm going to rememeber OB.
For you, OBML.
I'll smile. For it happened. And cry. For it's over.
I'll brace myself for another parting.. Ouch, after my Os (:
-felicia's blog
anyways, many things have been happening. And I see no point in facing them face to face. Fighting against it. I thought I was strong enough, but I realised. No. I realise, I'm already starting to run away from everything. Running away till tears were able to be forced back and I'm unable to smile genuinely at things that are nice. I realise, I'm no longer me. That's scary, is that the way how people change and grow emotionless? Idk. I'm afraid of myself already.
I'm sick of crying, for it's draining me.
I'm sick of laughing, for it's suffocating me.
I want to cry, but I'm tired. Tired of being weak.
I want to laugh, I'm tired too. Tired of straining my muscles.
I want to stand strong, but I see no reason why I should.
People have been lying to me. And things that I cherish a lot have left.
I see no motivation in life. I'm tired.
I wish I understood you. I wish all those you said were lies. When you receive the message, how did you feel?
It seems like you are chasing me away.
